Resolving Conflict in Your Relationship
Making the choice to go to couples counseling can be really exciting or really concerning step in your relationship. There are generally 2 reasons why a couple would seek counseling: to invest in the relationship or end it.
Today we’re going to be sitting down with a couples counselor to discuss the importance of investing in your relationship.
•How to plan a marriage beyond the wedding ceremony
•Communication exercises we should be using to effectively solve problems
•How children change relationships
It’s really easy to get defensive while communicating, especially when you feel like you’re being attacked. In Shane’s exercise, we aren’t allowed to be defensive or explain yourself while our partner is speaking. As the listener, we mirror what the speaker says. Reflect back the concern and how that makes the speaker feel. This removes the element of argument from arguing. Instead, we’re exchanging ideas and feelings.
Making the Most of Conflict
Relationships aren’t sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time. People disagree and it’s a normal part of a relationship. What’s important is that we discuss our disagreements so we can grow from them.
In the podcast, we discussed the Feedback Wheel which illustrates this perfectly.
Let’s say your significant other did something you didn’t like. For example, let’s say you were in a rush to get someplace important and it felt like to you your significant other was taking their time getting ready.
What did you see or hear in the situation
Maybe you saw your significant other scrolling Instagram instead of getting ready when it was time to leave.
Report how you saw this situation
Let your significant other know that you saw that they were on their phone even though you were in a rush.
How did it make you feel
Let them know exactly how it made you feel. If you feel like your needs weren’t being prioritized let them know.
What you would like to see happen
It’s important not to make demands in this situation. Let your partner know that you would prefer for them to check their phone after everyone has left the house. Maybe your partner was checking the weather and wanted to dress appropriately.
Conflict isn’t about establishing right and wrong, it’s about finding what works for both people.
To help me deliver the best show possible
Here is a list of resources mentioned in this episode: