Win/Win is a frame of mind that wants both sides to benefit from all interactions. When both sides win it because they are cooperating, not competing with each other. One person success isn’t achieved at the expense of the success of others, there’s enough for everyone. When 2 win/lose people get together the result will be lose/lose. Especially when it’s two who care about each other. When one person wins ultimately both people lose. Character is the foundation to building a winning solution.
Why Character is Important
Without trust the best we can hope for is compromise. You wouldn’t want to make an agreement with someone who you know is going to not honor his part of the agreement. It’s nearly impossible to come up with a scenario where everybody wins when there’s no trust between the two parties. An agreement means very little without the character & relationship to sustain it. Having a Win/win approach when problem-solving involves 2 parties saying I want to win but I want you to also win. I wouldn’t want to get my way today for it to eventually surface and you resent me for it & vice versa. There are three important character traits to building a win/win solution.
Integrity is the value we place on ourselves. It means we keep the commitments we make to ourselves and to other people. If we can’t keep our commitments, they mean nothing when we make them with other people.
The ability to express one’s own convictions and feelings balanced with consideration for the feelings and thoughts of others is what emotional maturity is about. Having the confidence to stand up for yourself but also having the consideration to care about how decisions affect other people is essential to building solutions where everybody wins.
Do you truly believe that there’s enough for everyone? If your coworker received a large bonus for their hard work does that mean you’re not getting paid that week? Of course not, because nothing is being taken away from you when others do well. There’s no need to compare your lives to others because your self-worth doesn’t come from how you stack up to in comparison with other people. There’s enough good grades, prestige, profits, and creativity for everybody, it’s just harder to find when you believe the success of others means you’ve failed.
This is part 4 of 7 of what I learned from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People If you enjoyed this review of the book, feel free to order your copy.